At the present, to say this morning has been unfair and unkind would be an understatement. I woke up this morning and checked my newspaper--aka my Facebook page (yes I know I'm a severe victim of technology, but I have to say I'm thankful for it--being able to connect with friends and family that are such a distance away helps in so many ways!)
But this morning, reading a certain post in my news feed turned me sideways and inside out. Reading the hard road a dear friend of mine and her family is on...utterly broke my heart. It's painful to see your friends, especially those who are so close to your heart hurting. This was brought on by the news my friend got yesterday--her sweet dad's road of battling a unfair, harsh cancer had darkened. This is a second friend of mine to have this happen in the last year.
It strikes an all too real moment--the kind that screams when bad things happen to good people. The entire situation stirs things in me. I still remember the conversation I had with my dear friend that sliced me in half. You have her wonderful dad, who is a good man, loves his wife and kids..invests in his grandchildren and this is the unfair trial he is faced with. *Then you know someone else who refuses to envelope themselves in these things--the greatest ones in life...your loved ones--and isn't faced with anything like this??
That someone mentioned is my dad..my parents divorced when I was 12, it was event that killed a relationship--one, that is still hard to admit to myself that wasn't truly ever there. My Dad willingly walked away that day. Not only for the pain--I can't begin to imagine that my friend is experiencing...this unfair fact turns me inside out, and makes me not want to function. My friend's dad--is that Dad I would of given anything to have, that I would of given my arm to have as my girls' granddad.
Staring at my facebook--my profile picture gripped me.
This is the picture...the one staring at me, plastering a smile on my face, that forces me not to engulf myself in the past. That sweet man grinning from ear to ear is Travis, my hubby and the father of my three girls, who is that Dad--the one who will not abandon his children, who will make time and savor the memories in the same instance, that will love unconditionally...he is that Dad. I'm held together knowing this heartfelt fact.
Another friend of mine said it best--for my dear friend to celebrate her dad, to embrace every moment. This adhered to me. I need to spend more time celebrating the best of my husband and the wonderful daddy he is. To embrace, grip, and hold the moments that make me realize that although I wasn't given what I so deeply wished for, that He blessed me on another path--my husband. He gave me that someone who will love and cherish the gifts--our girls--we were given, the way I prayed (and still do) that my own dad would of.
Today I'm painfully reminded of my blessings from Him and I'm thankful that my dear friend has an unwavering faith in the Lord, a hubby that is THAT DAD, a marriage that is so strong and sweet, and family & friends that will rally around her to keep the pieces together. I'm honored to be her friend...please keep her, her dad, and her family in your prayers. Love you my dear friend..words could never express how my heart hurts for you right now!
The helicopter dropping 10, 000 eggs!
Oh so patiently waiting!
Adalynne, Amelia & Mommy
